Through our recent readings in The Jesus I Never Knew, I've been thinking about what it really means to decide to follow Jesus. In the gospels, Jesus simply says to those he calls, "Follow me",
and they come. But I wonder how many unspoken stories there are of those whom he called that refused to give up their life. After years of growing up in an established routine - back then it was fishing or carpentry or priesthood, today perhaps working through college or sitting at a desk job or making piles of money as a doctor/lawyer/whatever - To simply drop it all and do something new, something unknown? It must have been a really rewarding change for the disciples to agree to it so readily. I guess for some who really hate their current situation, change would be welcome - That's why God appeals so much to the poor, the broken, the outcast. They have nowhere to go but up.
But what about me? I've grown up in a middle-class, quiet neighborhood, going to church and private schools all my life. While we aren't immensely rich, we are by no means bad off, and in fact by most of the world's standard, we live like kings. Even all our talk about being poor college kids is just our response to society - You show me one UTD student who is starving because they can't get enough money to buy food. America is truly a blessed nation. But the only recorded instance of someone turning Jesus down is a "rich young man" who "went away sad" when Jesus asked him to sell his possessions and give to the poor before he came to follow him. How much are we like the rich man, valuing our clothes, our movies, our books, our computers and video games, more than our commitment to live as Christ lived? How often do we put time into our schoolwork, our job, our relationship, before our Creator?
To be honest, being a leader in FOCUS is the hardest thing I've ever done. It feels a lot of times like trying to teach people how to live before I've figured it out for myself. It requires me to do all the things I like doing least, like initiating meetings with people I barely know, trying to work purposefully in all my friendships when I just want to hang out and relax, and above all giving me a sense that I could always be doing more, which constantly battles my sense of laziness and selfishness. I think that is the part of my life that I least enjoy the thought of giving up - my comfort zone. To live constantly outside of myself, not doing the things I want to do, but doing the things I feel God leading me to do (which, needless to say, are usually entirely out of my comfort zone) - this is what I see as living like Christ. Denying yourself in this life to gain a reward in heaven. In my selfish mind, all I can say is, it better be damn well worth it, cause I've got a pretty good life going here, God. At least I was liking it.
Ah, but here I see C.S. Lewis' analogy of "an ignorant child who wants to keep on making mud-pies in the slums because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a vacation at the beach." My version of a good life more than pales in comparison with God's promised reward for those who faithfully serve him. I think keeping that promise constantly in mind is what it takes to wake up every day and kill yourself in order to allow God to live through you.
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3 comments:
You're point about us being rich in America and the rich young ruler turning down Jesus' offer hits me hard. I wonder how much of our devotion to God is dictated by society and culture. Am I blinded to God's true expectations of me by my cultural lens, like the Pharisees. This is one of the reasons the Matthew 7:21-23 passage is the most terrifying passage in the Bible to me.
The comfort zone thing hits me too. I find it strange how much I cling to my comfort zone when I know God is pulling me away from it. I feel like you, that I like the way everything's going. When God does finally get me out I realize that it is better His way. Eventually that new step gets assimilated into my comfort zone and I repeat the process, always thinking "it got better last time but surely it doesn't get better than this." ...*sigh*
Good post dude. Keep em comin :)
I would like to leave an encouragement to everyone who feels the way Steven does. I certainly feel that way at times too. The call of Christ isn't one simply for the masochist. God didn't give us a command to serve simply to have us serve one another. He gave us this command to teach us to find joy in service and to teach us something about the way that the kingdom works. It doesn't feel great to get out of your comfort zone and do things that you don't find fun. However, I have found that as God has taught me through these growing experiences that I find more joy in them then I do in the fun stuff I would have done otherwise. It won't be frustrating forever. Living as God wants us to is difficult because we are fallen people but that doesn't mean that we can't learn to enjoy the way He intended us to live. I have found just the opposite. I used to struggle from time to time with slight depression and through God I have learned what true joy is. Its hard at times but I know the secret of being content and finding joy in things. I didn't learn that doing what I wanted to do. It didn't feel good or easy but I like much more where I am now than where I was. We have an amazing freedom and hope in Christ, now we just have to understand that.
Wow. You hit the nail on the head. I think most American Christians go through life without ever really listening to the call of "Follow me!" and beginning to comprehend what it really means. Thanks for opening your heart up to us and letting us see what's inside. It's a lot like a mirror, actually. But when your heart is open and laid bare, God's word can begin to do its work in a new and more potent way. As Paul would say of those apart from God: "They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts." So let's keep our hearts soft and malleable for the Master Sculptor's hands.
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